Ought Against

She was an excellent hostess, seeing to her guests’ tastes and making them comfortable in her home. Her husband was a coffee drinker, enjoying a variety of flavors. I thought an ideal gift for them would be a coffee grinder and small packages of flavored coffees. He would receive pleasure from the coffee and she would have another tool for hostessing her parties

I was wrong. There was no hesitation as she told me she felt slighted that I had not considered her, that the gift was useless to her since she didn’t drink coffee.

She was wrong in her conclusion, but so was I by dropping explanations and allowing a bit of animosity to remain. We never cleared this specific incident, but worked past it and built on a strong friendship.

The Bible tells me what I should have done:

Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift. (Matthew 5:23-24 KJV)

When we’ve built walls of protection around us based on other people’s actions, we’re also walling off our relationship with God. Christ explained it just a chapter further along – right after the Lord’s prayer:

For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: (Matthew 6:14 KJV)

But, that’s only half the promise. We need to be ready for the rest of it:

But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (Matthew 6:15 KJV)

Once we figure out that we must forgive those who make our lives miserable, we usually ask about the next time. Peter had that in mind:

Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? (Matthew 18:21 KJV)

Yep, Peter had experienced repetitive problems. How long do we have to put up with such? Again, the Bible has the answer as well as the question:

Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven. (Matthew 18:22 KJV)

Is 490 a magic number? Can we keep a small notebook of grievances and then hold a grudge at 491? I doubt that’s what He meant. Maybe today we can track those incidents in a PDA – but I doubt there would ever be that many. Usually we’re holding on to a grudge or two for decades rather than encountering multiple new ones. Paul tells us this could cause problems:

To whom ye forgive any thing, I forgive also: for if I forgave any thing, to whom I forgave it, for your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ; Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices. (2 Corinthians 2:10-11 KJV)

We need not give evil an advantage, do we?