Proof of Life

 

Fetal Anomaly Ultrasound Scan in Navi Mumbai.jpg

A composite image displaying six distinct ultrasound views captured during a fetal anomaly scan (often referred to as a mid-pregnancy or TIFFA scan). The sonograms provide detailed visualization of fetal anatomical structures, clearly showing the hands with visible digits, the facial profile, and skeletal elements. This type of detailed prenatal imaging is a routine part of maternal-fetal medicine and is commonly conducted at diagnostic imaging centers and maternity hospitals across Navi Mumbai, including areas such as Vashi, Nerul, and Kharghar, Taloja, Kalamboli, Kamothe, Panvel, Seawoods, Ulwe, to monitor fetal development and screening for potential congenital conditions.

I just finished a book written by J. A. Jance entitled "Proof of Life." It's a mystery, one of her series about a man through his employment as a police officer, homicide detective, into his retirement. Not until the end of the book do we discover the answer to: "Why this title?"

Google's AI search informed me that "proof of life" refers to verification methods used to confirm that an individual is alive and well, often through a photo, video, or message. This concept is commonly applied in contexts such as hostage situations, pension verification, and benefits programs. I posit that an ultrasound gives that same proof of life to the entities we term as: zygote, embryo, fetus, preborn, or unborn. 

Women seeking an abortion, legislators creating laws, attorneys questioning those laws in court, and judges coming down on the side of choosing whether or not a woman completes gestation have never accepted that conception indicates a stage of life for humans. Surviving birth isn't the final legal step, either, as some babies have been left (or assisted) to die simply by withholding medical care.

Two verses bring to mind a spiritual knowledge of life as a preborn:

For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. (Psalms 139:13-15)

Then the word of the LORD came unto me, saying, Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations. (Jeremiah 1:4-5)

Another in the New Testament concerns two separate pregnancies:

And it came to pass, that, when Elisabeth heard the salutation of Mary, the babe leaped in her womb; and Elisabeth was filled with the Holy Ghost: And she spake out with a loud voice, and said, Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb. And whence is this to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? For, lo, as soon as the voice of thy salutation sounded in mine ears, the babe leaped in my womb for joy. And blessed is she that believed: for there shall be a performance of those things which were told her from the Lord. (Luke 1:41-45)

Please do not explain to me that I am judging women who choose abortion. I am stating facts that agree with science that upon conception a unique human being is formed. Totally dependent on its mother for nourishment and protection, that human being has certain inalienable rights that include life. American rights to life and liberty were first written in the Virginia Declaration of Rights on June 12, 1776, and shortly after in the Declaration of Independence, adopted on July 4, 1776.

However, some people - man, women, parents, mothers, fathers - who should protect babies have found them to be inconvenient in a list of ways. The child may be short-lived, born deformed, unable to live a "normal" life, an impact on the family finances, not wanted by the person(s) who participated in conception, or an embarrassment to a family or its honor. There is an entire list of reasons people have used to remove a living human from the mother's womb.

If the fetus dies in the womb of natural causes, there are methods of showing proof of death just as there is proof of life. For any physician to deny a woman's request for those tests and for the removal of the dead child, that refusal should be considered malpractice - shouldn't it? What reasons should exist for removing a fetus?

Convenience has become a valid reason, and in some places that removal can be done up to the moment the fetus enters the birth canal during labor.

How did my country reach the point that it approves abortion by request? That took place in our extended family. I expect there are few families in America who have not lost an expected member through abortion - millions upon millions have been done for decades.

There's another verse that comes to mind:

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, (Hebrews 12:1)

I have not had a vision from God - it is in my own mind that I wonder what it would be like to find in Heaven that we are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses during God's judgment. What if each inconvenienced human met the soul of their aborted child? From biblical verses that describe specific events, the outcome will be known:

For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. (1 Corinthians 13:12)

Let's Start With Baptism

Baptism of Christ - by Sebastiano Ricci

Metropolitan Museum of Art 

J. Warner Wallace is an author, teacher, apologist, and was a homicide detective. His personal search for the truth behind Jesus is well worth reading - or listening to. A recent podcast on the question of Jesus' deity brought to mind questions I've heard or read, and some thoughts that have been shared with me. 

There is no doubt in my mind that not only are Genesis 1:1 and John 1:1 valid eplanations, but they cover the very same personages. One of the first things that bend the rules for me is the question of time. It is defined by the "rising of the sun" and the "setting of the sun" plus divisions inbetween that can be tracked by a sundial. That is total nonsense on any other planet in our own solar system, isn't it.

We base our reality on what we know, along with what mankind has discovered over an innumerable rising and setting of our star, the Sun. Do not confuse Sun with Son, though several civilizations did worship the Sun. A huge number of named deities have been worshipped, usually associated with a large number of equal or lesser beings.

The Children of Israel worshipped one singular God who promised a savior, a Messiah, one who would restore and lead them. Prophecies were written that remained unfulfilled for hundreds of years. Until a child was born in Bethlehem.

Let's start with his baptism, though, because that is one place where non-believers can point to Christians worshipping a trio of Gods. My experience has been that if God wants us to pay attention, He repeats information. Jesus' baptism is mentioned in all four gospels:

Pastor Jason Elder's website

Indeed, this is very important because believers are asked to follow in baptism as a public profession of faith, an outward sign of the death/burial/resurrection of Jesuis, as well as the commitment of our lives to be lived for Him. There is nothing biblical that I have found that shows baptism in and of itself is the salvation process. The belief that Jesus is God incarnate, dying for the sins of mankind, acceptance of His gift, is required. The firmness of that belief will bring changes to our lives, which become focused on God's will in our lives and sharing His good news with others. The very reason for this blog.

At the close of the baptism, we are told by witnesses that they heard God's voice affirm Jesus was His son and the Holy Spirit descended as a dove. John in particular identifies Jesus as the Lamb of God that taketh away the sin of the earth.

John is the very best chapter in understanding the deity of Jesus. As Christians claim, following Him confessing to being monotheistic has other religions questioning our worship as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. There are two specifics that helped me understand. 

The first is words that describe me: daughter, wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and a few others in work and personal environments. I exist in a single human body. 

God is described as a spirit in multiple places in the Bible, but Jesus is described as being born, growing to adulthood, preaching, and dying. Sounds like many humans. But He is also described as being God, a spirit that can be in multiple places at any given time, offering the body He created as the sacrifice He required. At Jesus' Baptism, all three aspects are mentioned: God the Father's words, the Holy Spirit descending as a dove, and the physically human Son of God rising from the water. 

That is one spirit which happened to include one human body that was created by God to hold the Spirit of God for three decades on earth. That does not confine the Spirit of our creator by any means. Jesus explained to the woman at the well in Samaria, who during their conversation said:

"Our fathers worshipped in this mountain; and ye say, that in Jerusalem is the place where men ought to worship."
Jesus saith unto her, "Woman, believe me, the hour cometh, when ye shall neither in this mountain, nor yet at Jerusalem, worship the Father. Ye worship ye know not what: we know what we worship: for salvation is of the Jews. But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him. God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.' (John 4:20-24)

Wallace's podcast is much longer than this one subject blog, but he covers 21 specific instances in the book of John where Jesus specifically mentioned that He and the Father are one. The death sentence He ws given was because equated Himself (correctly, I believe) with God. Yes, men crucified God, but He gave Himself as the sacrifice as promised:

And Abraham said, My son, God will provide himself a lamb for a burnt offering: so they went both of them together. (Genesis 22:8)

Tarry In Jericho

 

This graphic is not available for copying

Have you ever been so shamed that you couldn’t face anyone?

2 Samuel 10 and 1 Chronicles 19 tell a story of a kindness by King David that turned into a very painful situation for servants of King David. We have no information on how many servants, nor do we know their names. They were physically insulted.

In their culture it was a double insult to their manhood when their hair on one side of their beards were removed, and their clothing cut off to display their buttocks.  Apparently one person was not so treated and was able to go ahead of them, and get back in time to tell them to “tarry in Jericho” until their hair had grown back. 

Google gave a quick answer as to how quickly a man's beard grows - an average of half an inch a month was one site's conclusion. The author went further and stated:  "... the average man could have a beard of up to six inches in length after a year of growth with minimal trimming." Therefore, David basically gave his servants a year in Jericho.

This made me wonder what a person would do if they had a year off, but continued their employment, yet could not go home to family and friends. Think about it for a moment. You do not wish to be seen, for it is physically possible for people to see what you consider a shame filled time for yourself - but there's a whole year for you to tarry away from home.

Not too often are people in the Bible told to tarry, which basically means the same in Hebrew (abide, continue, dwell, endure, remain) as it does in Greek (abide, continue, dwell, endure, sit) but there are are 50 verses that use that word in the King James Version.

Beloved Husband grew a beard this year. From January to July 4, to celebrate our country's 250th birthday. It was not a long one. Yes, he had it snapped a couple of times, but not cut back. It our culture beards are a personal decision - but in this biblical story, they were so expected that it was better to hid away from home then to be seen. 

Today, in our culture, people appear to lack any shame. Recognizing sinfulness in our lives may bring a feeling of shame, but repentance is a necessity to allow God's joy to fill our lives. With His plan of salvation, our sin is gone. 

That is God's promise. Not mine. Do you know where the Bible tells us it is His?

A Song From Sunday's Service

Chicago Tribune, Chicago, Illinois, Dec 2, 1873. Page 1

 We begin Sunday worship services with singing. When you open the YouTube app and it shows the countdown to starting, the switch to live takes you right into music. It is a regular part of our service, bringing us together to focus on the pulpit and the choir loft behind it.

Among the songs Sunday was "It Is Well With My Soul." Betcha you've heard it, though you may not know much about it. I've written more than once about Horatio Spafford. Highlights of his life are: a wealthy lawyer with investments in Chicago; had a beautiful wife and four lovely girls; was a Presbyterian for many years; founded the American Colony in Jerusalem, providing medical care, shelter, and soup kitchens to Muslims, Jews, and Christians. Several tragedies could have overwhelmed him: the Chicago fire, which burned his investments, leaving only charred property, the loss of his four daughters in a shipwreck, financial loss, but not a loss of faith.

The lyrics were sung a couple of years after the collision of two ships that sank the Ville de Harve in less than fifteen minutes. From the above news story, Mrs. Spafford and the girls were sailing with friends from Chicago - while Horatio remained behind due to business concerns.

His wife's telegram, "Saved alone. What shall I do?" speaks volumes. After receiving that, he traveled to New York and sailed to be with her. As his ship crossed the spot, the captain told him they were sailing over where the ship had been lost.

How does any one handle such loss? I don't know. I cannot begin to imagine the loss of a child, much lose all of my children in a single accident.

However, I do know a bit about having faith through tragic loss. I know bad things happen to very good people, and good things happen for very bad people. I know we live in a fallen world that God provided natural resources that can damage property and people, too. 

Matthew quoted Jesus in teaching us to love our enemies: 

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? (Matthew 5:44-46)

In the middle, Jesus let us know that God is aware natural things happen to both the just and the unjust. Those with faith continue to love God and also understand:

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

Jesus told His disciples that after His death a Comforter would be coming:

Nevertheless I tell you the truth; It is expedient for you that I go away: for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you. And when he is come, he will reprove the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment: (John 16:7-8)

Let's go back to Romans 8:

For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for? But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it. Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God. (Romans 8:24-27)

That brings to my mind the blessed assurance of salvation:

For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. (Ephesians 2:8-10)

For me - that is the foundation for facing death - not just my own eventual, but the very real loss of parents, nephew, grandson, friends, and an innocent child in our community. Faith in God.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1)

Paul's Life Gives Me Hope

 

Saint Paul

I've written about Paul before. I've been reading some social media posts that are not hopeful. fortunately, I'm sufficiently familiar with Bible stories the give examples of why I continue to believe:

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1, KJV)

Not an eye witness to biblical events, I can have faith in their validity. No one can prove the historical events did not happen, plus archeology continues to confirm history contained in the Hebrew Tanakh. Judaism retained belief for hundreds of centuries following Moses' leading Israelites out of Egypt, back to land they had grazed through generations until the moved to Egypt. 

Judaism had divisions when Christ was born, just as they, Christianity, and Islam do today. Scholars, who while disagreeing on some doctrine, believed in a singular deity, just as today. 

Paul was such a scholar. As a student under a member of the Sanhedrin, he was zealous in defending their faith to the point of seeing Jesus' followers (not yet called Christians) in prison or dead. 

What changed Paul? 

He never denied his own religion. Israel's being the focus of God's interaction with mankind remained the foundation. Jews were looking for action from God. The land promised to them had passed through many hands and they wanted it back. Scriptures promised there would be a future for the Jewish people and the timing was just about right for the promised one.

Paul had studied all those scriptures in Jerusalem, the center of Judaism and Jewish culture. The High Priest conducted ceremonial offering just as they had been done as Aaron did in the Tabernacle, only Paul saw them done in the third - and so far last - temple. Paul took pride in being a Jew, a Pharisee, and being taught by Gamaliel:

I am verily a man which am a Jew, born in Tarsus, a city in Cilicia, yet brought up in this city at the feet of Gamaliel, and taught according to the perfect manner of the law of the fathers, and was zealous toward God, as ye all are this day. And I persecuted this way unto the death, binding and delivering into prisons both men and women. (Acts 22:3-4)

Apparently Paul did not heed Gamaliel, who stood up in the Jewish Council and said:

Then stood there up one in the council, a Pharisee, named Gamaliel, a doctor of the law, had in reputation among all the people, and commanded to put the apostles forth a little space; And said unto them, Ye men of Israel, take heed to yourselves what ye intend to do as touching these men. . . . And now I say unto you, Refrain from these men, and let them alone: for if this counsel or this work be of men, it will come to nought: But if it be of God, ye cannot overthrow it; lest haply ye be found even to fight against God. (Acts 5:34-35, 38-39)

What hope of salvation was there for a man who sought Jesus' followers and persecuted them unto death? Frankly, the same hope of all sinners -  which is everyone in our world today. Paul had that same hope. His renowned teach even said to the Council that they could be found fighting against God.

What changed Paul? A face to face meeting with the resurrected Jesus. The whole story is in Acts, and I've referenced it before. Either take my word for it, or look it up. It does take a meeting with Jesus for us to realize what is meant in John 3:16-18. The majority do not have that brilliant meeting Paul had - but we don't have the job God gave Paul. And for that I am extremely grateful.

I do have the same hope of salvation that Paul preached for the rest of his life. It is as simple as John 3:16 and as difficult as the entire book of the Bible. Accepting Jesus as God's plan of salvation is totally based on faith - which is:

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1)

What is faith to you? When did you discover you had faith? Can you share specific events of faith with others? Paul did all of that - defined faith, discovered it on the road to Damascus, shared it with people for the rest of his life. Let's do our part. Share the substance of things you hope for. With anyone.

Walking On Water As A New Christian

Henry Ossawa Tanner, The Disciples See Christ Walking on the Water, c. 1907.jpg

 A Facebook post this week caught my eye. There was an error in the headline, but what was important is that Jesus was not the only person the Bible says who walked on water. Peter did, too:

And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus. (Matthew 14:29)

Even in Commons Wikimedia, very few of the paintings had Peter standing on the water. In most, he was half way in, with Jesus holding his hand. In many, the painting indicated a storm - but to me that when Jesus was getting some sleep in a boat, not this same instance. We know what the fishermen were doing:

And straightway Jesus constrained his disciples to get into a ship, and to go before him unto the other side, while he sent the multitudes away. And when he had sent the multitudes away, he went up into a mountain apart to pray: and when the evening was come, he was there alone. But the ship was now in the midst of the sea, tossed with waves: for the wind was contrary. (Matthew 14:22-24)

The blue in Tanner's painting doesn't show tossing waves, but it does convey the attention of the crew:

And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear. But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid. And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water. (Matthew 14:25-28)

Isn't that the way new Christians are? "Lord, I believe in you. Direct miy life." Stepping out in faith the same way Peter stepped out of the boat and "he walked on the water, to go to Jesus." Then we are faced with reality:

But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me. (Matthew 14:30)

That's not confined to happening with new Christians. Experienced, older and wiser, Christians can come down from a "mountain top" experience and find the wind - temptations, old friends, debts, existing or new problems - and become afraid, beginning to sink. When that does happen - and it will, Peter's example remains the best for us: "Lord, save me!"

Not from sinning, not from being lost, not even from dying (which we all will do eventually) but from the fear that our actions have separated us from Jesus. His answer to Peter is the same for us:

And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt? (Matthew 14:31)

We doubt because we are human. I love what one man say when Jesus asked if he believed:

And he asked his father, How long is it ago since this came unto him? And he said, Of a child. And ofttimes it hath cast him into the fire, and into the waters, to destroy him: but if thou canst do any thing, have compassion on us, and help us. Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief. (Mark 9:21-24)

We were sinners, unforgiven, before coming to Jesus in belief. We remain sinners, forgiven, because we have faith in Jesus' words that confirm God's promises. Peter and Paul quote ties in the Jewish faith in God's promises to the Christian's:

Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls. Of which salvation the prophets have enquired and searched diligently, who prophesied of the grace that should come unto you: 

(1 Peter 1:9-10)

That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus. For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. (Ephesians 2:7-10)

Stepping out at Jesus' call did not cause Peter to stumble. Fear did. Renewal of faith had him reaching out for Jesus to save him. When we do fear, seek the love that overcomes:

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. We love him, because he first loved us. (1 John 4:18-19)

Read Hebrews 11th chapter. Faith grows in the loving relationship with God. Not a man, not a building, not the Church, not the congregation, but in our individual relationship with God who is active in all of those.

Not Being A Catholic

 

From Wikimedia Commons, used by Creative Commons Attribution permission

"A mission of compassion for the world"

It is not easy not being a Catholic. You see, we do not have a priest we can confess to and lay all of our sins in his ear. He would then give a Catholic a number of things to do, and absolve the parishioner of all confessed sins. Then they are ready for the next Mass.

Non-Catholics have to confess their sins direct to our Father. Oh, He knows them anyway, but He has requested we acknowledge them, with remorse, too. There are no "Hail Mary's" and we've already spoke directly to our Father, which means in most cases we already know what we were - and are -  supposed to do.

The important thing is, our sins are gone. The ones we prayed to Him about, that we regret that have caused a separation between Him and ourselves. We can do this any time, any place, just as a thief on a cross could call across to the man in the middle:

And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom. (Luke 23:42)

A bit further back in the Bible, King David was speaking directly to God after a reminder from his pastoral authority figure, the prophet Nathan:

Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest. (Psalms 51:2-4)

Oh, we all need an intercessor - someone who speaks for us before a higher authority - but as not being Catholic, ours is God:

Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the spirit which is of God; that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God. (1 Corinthians 2:12)

Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:14-16)

There are other verses, but no need to fill pages here - the message is simple, as long as scripture is where we find God. Bereans did:

And the brethren immediately sent away Paul and Silas by night unto Berea: who coming thither went into the synagogue of the Jews. These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so. Therefore many of them believed; also of honourable women which were Greeks, and of men, not a few. (Acts 17:10-12)

I believe scripture is of great importance - partly because the Bible says so. But, not being a Catholic, this comes easily:

All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works. (2 Timothy 3:16-17)

Oh, yes, not being a Catholic, I'm not confined to fish on certain days, and our pastors know what family life is like because they live through it, too:

Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth. For every creature of God is good, and nothing to be refused, if it be received with thanksgiving: For it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer. (1 Timothy 4:1-5)

Peter had his own experience with changes in dietary laws that opened his heart to non-Jewish believers:

And there came a voice to him, Rise, Peter; kill, and eat. But Peter said, Not so, Lord; for I have never eaten any thing that is common or unclean. And the voice spake unto him again the second time, What God hath cleansed, that call not thou common. (Acts 10:13-15)

There is much to learn in Acts 10. The story of Cornelius and Peter has great depth, and comes to me when I'm reading other verses as confirmation that God speaks to those who speak to Him.

No - I have not had any specific experience where I believe I heard God's voice. But - I could spend pages here showing His hand in where and how I am now. As Paul, I've kicked against the pricks that are designed to lead me on the right path, but I learned better before I took a road to Damascus:

And he fell to the earth, and heard a voice saying unto him, Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me? And he said, Who art thou, Lord? And the Lord said, I am Jesus whom thou persecutest: it is hard for thee to kick against the pricks. (Acts 9:4-5)

Few have such a direct meeting with our Lord. And that's fine with me. His judgment seat is enough for me to consider. Not the first one - I know I'll make it through that because I believe Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, who died as prophesied, and rose again on the third day - as He told His disciples. They forgot. They didn't have the gospels, the letters to the churches, the Revelation to John. But, they had Jesus for another 40 days, then received the Holy Spirit at Pentecost, and they turned the world upside down. Or, at least people tlhought so.

Spend time with your Bible in prayer to our Lord. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit. We've been given instructions on how to deal with wrong spirits:

Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world. Hereby know ye the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesseth that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is of God: And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that spirit of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world. Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world. (1 John 4:1-4)

Why? Because reading the Bible brings us closer to our Father. In fact, look beyond the verses here. read chapters especially John, who tells why he wrote:

These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God. (1 John 5:13)