"My Divorce"

I read of someone speaking of “My divorce.” I have yet to see a situation where a divorce belongs to an individual.

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (Genesis 2:24 KJV)

Separating that flesh causes pain. Because of familial ties, that pain extends to parents of both husband and wife. If there are children, the pain is increased exponentially as one set of grandparents loses connections to grandchildren. Thus three or more generations are impacted by divorce.

I know. A second marriage brought a child of divorce into our lives. The subsequent divorce took that beautiful child away. My husband knows much more closely. When his parents divorced, the family became divided in such a way that it was thirty-five years before siblings were united – coming too late for their father, who died without seeing his sons grown. No less than five generations were impacted – perhaps more as the story is passed along, even if the pain is not.

“My divorce” is never a valid statement – there must have been a marriage, which takes two. Perhaps only one does desire, work for and achieve a divorce. Still, the rupture creates rifts much as earthquakes do. The paperwork names two, so it has to at least be “Our divorce.”

Longevity in marriages is possible. Find those couples whose anniversaries are counted in multiple decades and learn from them. Spend some time in Titus, chapter two.

Look for these men: That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. (Titus 2:2 KJV)

And these women: The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, (Titus 2:3-4 KJV)

Divorce would be out of the question if the marriage begins on sound footing. Husband and wife would be equally determined to work past the rough spots and build a lasting marriage on a strong foundation.

When thinking of couples in our own church, many have celebrated their 50^th year together. Spending time with these aged couples prior to marriage could help make the best choice for a spouse, a choice to last a lifetime. The wedding vows are designed to last a lifetime.

The lifetime is ours. Do we care enough for ourselves to make the best of it?