On A Personal Note….

Back in December I introduced my readers to “Henry”. That’s the name I assigned to a meningioma my doctor spotted following an MRI last July. It’s been a full year since I was told something had taken up residency in my brain, and for a full year I was able to live quite comfortably in denial. Most everything you read about meningiomas is comfortable – usually benign; usually slow-growing; at my age, it could be more damaging to remove than to just keep an eye on it for changes.

Well, we watched and “Henry” changed.  He has turned out not to be a good tenant. He has succeeded in enlarging his original space and is reaching out toward my optic nerve. This latest MRI confirmed this and my neurologist determined it was time to send me to a neurosurgeon who is capable of evicting “Henry.” I’m waiting on the appointment to be confirmed.

I’m supposed to contact my neurologist if I have any symptoms – which is odd, because I’ve had none to this point. The headaches that sent me for the first MRI have not recurred, and should not have been created by “Henry’s” existence.

I kinda like my mind the way it is – a little craziness, but the family is used to that. Most of all, I want my memories. No one else has the same memories I do and I’d like to keep these, sharing them now and then with my children. I’d like to keep the verses I’ve memorized, too; to be able to connect them to daily activities and specific lessons.

The best thing is, I’m not worried about the outcome. It’s only brain surgery and an operation that is done daily (no, I don’t have statistics, but it stands to reason …) plus, my surgeon comes highly recommended with impeccable credentials. On top of that, I have Jesus’ words:

If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? (Matthew 7:11 KJV)

Yep, my Father is in the gift giving business, and I’m asking that through all this that I might be able to keep my mind.

Not all of us receive an affirmative answer to that particular prayer. I’ve seen what Alzheimer’s and Dementia’s prognosis is in loved ones’ lives. I know the physical possibilities that could affect my mental workings, but while that’s a reality, it doesn’t worry me.

My relationship with my Lord is spiritual and is in great shape.

But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him. (John 4:23 KJV)

An atheist once wrote that he did not want to be in heaven where he might have to be one of these beasts:

And the four beasts had each of them six wings about him; and they were full of eyes within: and they rest not day and night, saying, Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty, which was, and is, and is to come. (Revelation 4:8 KJV)

I, on the other hand, know I will not be one of them, but would be more than willing to worship Him in that same manner. Strangely enough, that provides comfort for me.