A Time to Die

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn (Ecclesiastes 3:1-2a, 4a)

Even knowing this, when we are faced with a time to die, a time to mourn, it is hard to accept.

This week brought the time to die to four families I know. The losses ranged from a ninety-three year old woman to a man whose age was not given. Four families impacted by the death of a loved one. With advanced age and long illness, the prognosis is not unknown. We are, however, never ready for the grieving for our loss.

Two were mothers, widowed, their children by their side. Two were husbands, with wives left to contend with red tape, funeral homes, decisions they had not anticipated. In some cases, there were questions not yet answered.

So – today I have some suggestions for people who love their families.

Take time to discuss the facts of death with your loved ones. Let them know your preferences, and be certain you understand theirs. Discuss others’ funerals – what you liked, what you would expect. Do not debate the aptness of preferences.

Take time to discuss medical decisions before one must be made. What would be included in a Living Will? Who would be given responsibility – power of attorney? What is necessary to make that legal? What about long term care? Hospice?

Take time to discuss what is important in life and how that importance should be shared.

These are painful subjects for many, but they are a lot less painful discussed over the dinner table than over a hospital bed. Some would ignore the subject, finding it embarrassingly difficult to broach.

Yet, To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven, and a time to die does fall into that category. For ourselves, and for those we love. Please, love them enough to help them before they mourn.