Surface Reading

The questioning Huffington Post headline read:  “What Does The Bible Actually Say About Marriage?”, then proceeds to tear apart verses selected for marriage ceremonies, states there are no “biblical family values” and basically asks if we “Conservative Christians” read our Bibles.  As you know, I do.  And, I encourage others to do so, too.  In fact, the article ends with:

Christians will always turn to the Bible for guidance -- and we should.

It is to one reference the author uses that I turn to – and have written on before:

Ephesians 5:22-33 commands wives to obey their husbands and husbands to love their wives. Conservative Christians may try to explain away the offense of this passage, but there's no escaping its ugly reality.

This is a diametrically opposed conclusion from my own viewpoint.  The author discusses wifely submission out of context. As others who find this concept offensive, he dismisses the scriptural references to the wife's and the husband’s full responsibilities.

The author does not delve into the relationships, studying them in these scriptures.  This is not “ugly reality” when wives consider that their husbands are to love them as Christ loves His church. The depth of that sacrificial love is what my husband gives to me. 

The opening verse requires me to understand that my submission is as it would be to our Lord – not as it would be to an abusive relationship I am required to endure. Not as it would be to a selfish man bent on getting his own way, but:

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. (Ephesians 5:22 KJV)

My Beloved Husband  has his own requirements to meet:

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; (Ephesians 5:25 KJV)

Why should a woman marry for anything less than this depth of love?  With their greater responsibility, husbands get a few more verses, too:

So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: (Ephesians 5:28-29 KJV)

Nourished.  Cherished.  That’s what our Lord requires my husband provide to me.  Oh, how I adore that reality! I have for more than 50 years!

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. (Ephesians 5:31 KJV)

One man. One wife.  As it was in the beginning. Loving each other, and their Lord, unselfishly.  Growing daily in the nourishment that love offers.  Imperfect creatures that we are, we need that daily growth.  I can honestly give my Beloved Husband exceptionally high marks in achieving his responsibilities – better than mine, I’m certain.

How sad it is that the author’s Bible reading, his very religious belief system, does not offer the same to him.  It usually doesn’t when we try to make His word fit our lives instead of allowing our lives to respond to His word.

Job Description

Daniel interpreting Nebuchadnezzar’s Dream

Nebuchadnezzar had a dream.  He didn’t like it. It upset him quite a bit.  So, he called for help:

And the king said unto them, I have dreamed a dream, and my spirit was troubled to know the dream. Then spake the Chaldeans to the king in Syriack, O king, live for ever: tell thy servants the dream, and we will shew the interpretation. The king answered and said to the Chaldeans, The thing is gone from me: if ye will not make known unto me the dream, with the interpretation thereof, ye shall be cut in pieces, and your houses shall be made a dunghill. (Daniel 2:3-5 KJV)

There’s a movie out about bad bosses, but even they don’t match this.  Not only did the wise men of his country need to tell him what the dream meant, they needed to tell him the dream!  His advisors told him what people need to tell some bosses today:

The Chaldeans answered before the king, and said, There is not a man upon the earth that can shew the king's matter: therefore there is no king, lord, nor ruler, that asked such things at any magician, or astrologer, or Chaldean. And it is a rare thing that the king requireth, and there is none other that can shew it before the king, except the gods, whose dwelling is not with flesh. (Daniel 2:10-11 KJV)

“Can’t deliver, Neb, old boy.”  Apparently he accepted their word – and it applied to all in that job description – for the order went out to kill:

For this cause the king was angry and very furious, and commanded to destroy all the wise men of Babylon. (Daniel 2:12 KJV)

For once, being a dummy was a very good thing! Unfortunately, Daniel and his three companions were very wise men.  Wise enough that Daniel received an audience with the king, gave a convincing presentation, then went home.

Then Daniel went to his house, and made the thing known to Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah, his companions: That they would desire mercies of the God of heaven concerning this secret; that Daniel and his fellows should not perish with the rest of the wise men of Babylon. (Daniel 2:17-18 KJV)

It would be wise for men today to desire mercies of the God of heaven concerning everything in our lives.  Placing our future in His hands is the wisest thing any of us can do – and we find endless ways to keep from doing just that, don’t we?

God revealed the secret – He told Daniel not only what the dream was, but what it meant.  Daniel praised God for giving him the answer to their prayers.  Again, we find endless ways to keep from doing just that, don’t we?

What did our old boy Neb do?

The king answered unto Daniel, and said, Of a truth it is, that your God is a God of gods, and a Lord of kings, and a revealer of secrets, seeing thou couldest reveal this secret. (Daniel 2:47 KJV)

Good for him!!  Acknowledging God is always a good response to His gifts.  Daniel came out OK, too:

Then the king made Daniel a great man, and gave him many great gifts, and made him ruler over the whole province of Babylon, and chief of the governors over all the wise men of Babylon. (Daniel 2:48 KJV)

Please don’t expect to be made chief of the governors!!  But do take time to follow Daniel’s example.  Learn for yourself what trusting in the Lord can provide in your life.  And, be ready -- there’s a lot more about this king in the coming weeks.

Be Careful!

As mothers, we want our children to be happy, and when the simplest of pleasures make them so, we tend to edge up to that line of "What were you thinking!?!?"

My brush against that line was when we sold our home in Tulsa.  The week before we were to move we discovered bicycles on sale. Our new home was on a dead end street, as yet undeveloped, and not likely to be for months at the least.  A great place for our children to learn how best to control their bicycles. They were 5, 6 and 8 and had ridden bicycles before, but didn't have their own. Excellent pricing, so we bought each of our three children one.

They were not supposed to ride them until our move -- into a quiet neighborhood without traffic except known neighbors. I think rule lasted two or three days.  They begged, and pleaded, and I gave in with a mother's best command, "Be careful."

The screech of brakes brought me to the picture window as Son's bike lay on the ground, with him, in front of a car. By the time I reached him, neighbors had him wrapped in a blanket and an ambulance had been called.  I was frightened beyond understanding that he really was in good shape.

Fortunately, he had a bump on his noggin and a couple of bruises, the driver calmed down and lowered her blood pressure, and the bike was fixable.

A couple of decades later he was out on his own, far beyond a mother's "Be careful!"  I was more concerned about his soul.  He was open about the fact that religion was not as important to him as he thought it was to us.  We made many efforts to explain that it wasn’t ‘religion’, but our personal relationship with our Lord that made the difference.  Whether or not we failed, the ultimate responsibility was his.  This wasn’t something we could do for him.  The decision was his.  I placed him, in prayer, in God’s hands.

No until his 40th decade did I get the call that he now understood, and the rest of the family rejoiced with him and attended his baptism. I cannot explain to the unbelievers the mother’s relief, and the Christians understand.  We rejoiced.

I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance. (Luke 15:7 KJV)

I had prayed, holding to the words of Solomon:

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6 KJV)

Knowing scriptures were given for our comfort:

For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope. (Romans 15:4 KJV)

When we’re working toward the same end, the home coming a 100th lamb being the desire of our hearts, we believe:

Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. (Psalms 37:4 KJV)

He did.  And I shall enjoy the company of my children through eternity.

Where’s the Wagon?

I haven’t written much about drinking, but there was an MSNBC article that brought that to mind – and an application to other areas in our lives. The article, “I’ll never drink again! Never mind. Cheers!” had an interesting lead-in: 

According to a new report, the perceived social benefits outweigh the consequences.

There’s a lot of information in that headline, and a great deal more with that lead, before even getting to the article.

First – both alcoholics and social drinkers will state those three sentences, usually at different times.  “I’ll never drink again!” comes after an embarrassment felt after drinking.  “Never mind,” comes when the drinker gets over the embarrassment, discovering it is survivable both physically and socially.  “Cheers!” comes with the next social occasion accompanied by alcohol.  Three sentenced, used by a large number of people.

Second – “perceived” indicates individual perceptions which are not based on fact and may not exist, therefore they do not outweigh consequences.  Part of the problem is consequences.  Drinkers can always find friends to assure them consequences aren’t real.

Most Christian denominations accept social drinking, holding up several verses speaking against excess.  My personal recommendation is not drinking, having seen serious consequences for both alcoholics and for social drinkers.

Proverbs speaks about drinking and the consequences in several places, among them:

Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise. (Proverbs 20:1 KJV)

Be not among winebibbers; among riotous eaters of flesh: For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty: and drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags. (Proverbs 23:20-21 KJV)

Paul’s writing left no doubt drunkenness is found in the midst of sins of the flesh:

Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. (Galatians 5:19-21 KJV)

Isaiah understood that even those who say they serve God can fail in this regard:

But they also have erred through wine, and through strong drink are out of the way; the priest and the prophet have erred through strong drink, they are swallowed up of wine, they are out of the way through strong drink; they err in vision, they stumble in judgment. (Isaiah 28:7 KJV)

If you are able, please Comment and give me an example from personal knowledge of a decision made while under the influence of alcohol, or other mind-altering drug, which was done with good judgment.  I don’t know of one.  I know of several where the decisions were damaging. My Second Son-in-Law is missing a piece of his eyelid, thanks to a drunk driver.  We feel fortunate he did not lose his eye.

I worked with a young woman who said she had fun on weekends and trips.  She couldn’t remember all that she did, because of her drinking, but surely it was fun – people laughed when talking about her.  Another dear friend, a social drinker, he said (of course), became a belligerent bore after a few drinks.  He always apologized afterwards, when he learned of his actions.

Those aren’t your results?  Never had to apologize for your actions when drinking?  Excellent!  How about those around you?  Do you really consider consequences?

Modest? Girl?

It has been said often but never can be said too often – modesty is important. ‘Smelling Coffee’, another inspirational blog, has some excellent advice in her post “Modesty Is The Best Policy.”

From there, head to a testing site for Secret Keeper Girls and learn about “Truth or Bare”, six simple tests to confirm modest dress. Directed to young teens, these are great tests for any age. I can testify that there have been people in our own church that would fail in a test or two. That means awareness is not just for teens.

I know, I’ve written (harped) on this subject over the years, and just recently posted about dressing modestly.  But I was just reminded about another aspect that I need to cover with our Junior High girls.

“Do you look like a girl?”

Appears obvious, doesn’t it?  It’s not.  There was a time in my life where girls really did look like girls, and boys looked like boys.  There would not have been a ‘unisex’ clothing store.  Girls were expected to grow up to be ladies; boys were expected to grow up to be gentlemen.

Ladies wore dresses or suits with skirts to their place of employment – even if their employment was housewife – and men wore suits to white-color jobs and khakis or uniforms to blue-color jobs.

When dressing for church on Sunday, the phrase “Sunday best” was coined to indicate people did wear their very best clothing to worship their king.  Wednesday night service, since it was work week, didn’t require Sunday best, but it was still church and it was considered proper to dress accordingly.

I miss that.

I miss the self respect shown by dressing properly.  Our girls often wear jeans with printed T-shirts on Sunday and Wednesday nights.  Some even on Sunday mornings.  They look as the boys do.  Depending on the hairstyles, from the back they look they same.  They should not.

Those twenty-one goal-worthy verses for women in Proverbs 31 teach us to stand apart as women. Only one verse, 22, speaks of her clothing, and we have no description.  Since the remainder of the verses extoll her activities, it stands to reason her dress is in accordance with those activities, not detracting from all that is recognized as worthy of praise.

What does she get for that?

Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. (Proverbs 31:28 KJV)

Her praise continues further than her family:

Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates. (Proverbs 31:31 KJV)

Oh, yes – I did jump over a verse.  It includes one item missing in all the activities listed about this lady.  A very good one to keep in mind, to keep in front:

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. (Proverbs 31:30 KJV)

Remember that “feareth” means to be “morally reverent,” which brings us back to modesty, right?

Plans Change

This week a friend’s granddaughter headed out on a mission journey with other young people, then plans changed.  Their overseas flight was delayed due to stormy weather – then news arrived from their original destination that cancelled their arrival.  At the same time, another mission field opened up.  Here’s part of the notification sent to family and friends following their journey:

“Often, when involved in ministry in the midst of this crazy world, we encounter situations that at first seem frustrating. Sometimes they force us to be flexible and change plans. Thankfully, in the end we can usually look back and see how God had his hand on the situation the whole time and was working it for his glory.”

“While this is an obvious shift in plans, we are celebrating the fact that God’s plan is bigger than ours and that we’re already seeing evidence of his hand at work. Now they will be able to engage in ministry sooner than we expected.”

On trips of my own, I’ve encountered ‘challenges’ that placed me where I met people I would not have under any other circumstances.

Once, headed to Cyprus on business, I left on a flight earlier than necessary just to make certain I had plenty of time to make the Olympic Air out of La Guardia.  We were delayed at DFW, due to weather in New York, then circled for a long time over New York City before we could land.  I’ll never forget the glowing clouds over the city, then the sweep to darkness as we flew out over the Atlantic.  Over and over again.  Landed, deboarded and reached the shuttle to the Olympic terminal – only to get stuck in a tunnel behind a car whose owner abandoned it while unloading.  Didn’t make that Olympic flight and had to stay over night.

Had I made that flight, I would not have been in the airport the next afternoon to have a couple of hours to talk with a man from Macedonia.

Not the Macedonia of biblical Greece in Paul’s time, but the Republic of Macedonia of 1991.  I heard of Kosovo and Serbia; of changes in the Balkans; all first hand.  I heard of faith and trials; peace and violence; newness out of old.  We shared our witness, not just of history, but of faith.

As Peter explain his trip to Cornelius’ home, the Spirit will lead:

And the Spirit bade me go with them, nothing doubting. (Acts 11:12a KJV)

And at times lead elsewhere, as Timothy and Paul discovered:

After they were come to Mysia, they assayed to go into Bithynia: but the Spirit suffered them not. (Acts 16:7 KJV)

Abraham, Joseph, Daniel, Esther, Jonah, Peter, Paul – the list goes on and on – chosen to do God’s will in ways they never envisioned, in ways they never would have chosen.  Yet each will be remembered for making their lives examples under the most difficult situations, in the strangest of places.

Are we prepared for change?  Better be.

Sweet Smell of Success

I can’t say I know much about that phrase – I’ve heard it all my life and still do not understand how success can smell sweet – unless it is something as this pineapple upside down cake, which smells so good while it’s baking, and when it comes out of the oven.  But then metaphors seem to escape my understanding.

What I do know is that I’m a sweet smell (no, not because of any soap I’m using!)  The Bible tells me so:

For we are unto God a sweet savour of Christ, in them that are saved, and in them that perish: To the one we are the savour of death unto death; and to the other the savour of life unto life. And who is sufficient for these things? For we are not as many, which corrupt the word of God: but as of sincerity, but as of God, in the sight of God speak we in Christ. (2 Corinthians 2:15-17 KJV)

Of a certainty, in the sight of God I speak of Christ.  I do so out of His word, hopefully directing my readers to check out what I type just to be certain that Bible says what I think it does.

It was easy for me to understand about “them that are saved,” for they will understand God’s word and be enriched by reading it.  His word does not return void.  (Yes, it’s a reference to scripture – look it up; you can find it.)

What I didn’t understand is how we could be a sweet smell unto God “in them that perish.”  I’ve often felt a failing when one rejects Him and makes it blatantly apparent.  A pastor’s wife recently wrote of a lost relative, one who derides family members’ beliefs and continually pricks at them openly in front of friends.  This has gone on for years, with many witnessing to him of God’s love, to no avail.

To me, this has come to mean that our witnessing is sufficient to God. What we do is the sweet savour.  How it is received is not within our grasp.  Neither our will, nor God’s will, is imposed on another’s soul – it is theirs to offer to Him, or to hold selfishly as it withers.  My responsibility is the same as all mankind’s – what I give to God, not what another gives.

Just as Cain was responsible for his sacrifice and his anger taken out on his brother, we should be prepared for resentment as a response.  We should be prepared for derision – is this not what our Lord received from those to whom He was sent?  Should we expect our reception to be any better than His?

We are told He is sufficient.  We aren’t, but He is.  He is worthy.  The Bible tells me so, in Revelation 5.