Dating vs Courtship

This site, Treasures From A Shoebox, has a beautiful explanation of the differences between dating (which I personally discourage) and courtship:

     We strongly believe that repetitious dating and breaking up is a blueprint for future marriage and divorce.
     Courtship is a father's agreeing to work with a qualified young man to win his daughter for marriage. The purpose of courtship is to seek the Lord to determine if it is His perfect will for the couple to marry.

This states so well what we attempted to have our Junior High School girls understand when considering their future.

The biblical picture of marriage is a man and a woman, beginning in Genesis:

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (Genesis 2:24 KJV)

… and ending in Mark with Jesus’ words:

But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (Mark 10:6-9 KJV)

Dating and breaking is a very poor pattern to set. There are several young couples that have gone through our church successfully breaking that pattern. They ‘date’ in group activities, never alone. Yes, I’m talking about teens with their own cars. Read how Luke and Jamie Knickerbocker worked through their courtship.

What have they gained? A trusting relationship built over years. The purposed in their hearts as displayed by biblical examples and achieved what God promised – one husband, one wife, become one flesh, unshared with others.

A larger number of couples failed, not only in dating but in maintaining their marriage “till death” did part.  The verses before Mark 10:9 addressed that very subject:

And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him. And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. (Mark 10:2-5 KJV)

Please notice that Jesus did not say that God gave a commandment for divorce. He said “What did Moses command you?” and He added “For the hardness of your heart he (Moses!) wrote you this precept.”

Words matter. Jesus said “from the beginning of creation God made them male and female.” It bears repeating. It is a tenet of my faith, based on God’s word. Words matter. The ones repeated by the bride and groom are commitments before witnesses and before God. They bear remembering and following.

For those considering marriage, consider it a life-time commitment for the consequences will be a part of each others lives until death. The memories cannot be erased with a divorce decree. Neither can the pain of serious dating and breaking up. Over and over again.

Teens – find a mentor to help you understand that dating is detrimental. Courtship is very different. Study and learn.