“Here I Go Again”

Have you ever heard a teenager express how much they love someone?  That they want to go steady?  That they are ready for a relationship that will last for … they have no idea how long? Do you think it’s cute, or do you worry they are getting in over their head? 

It gives me concern – to the point that I’ve posted several blogs on the subject:
From Song of Solomon, “Wall or Door” October, 2009
From a church program “Far Above Rubies” December, 2009
Sunday School Lesson, “Beautiful Princess” June, 2010

Search on ‘purity’ for some of the others. Other adults in our church are concerned about our youth and their future, too.  Yesterday I quoted Coach Horton on education, and find myself quoting him today, too.  This time for teens, about relationships:

Oh No! here I go again! Teenagers vs Teenage Relationships, what a topic. Teenagers, have you ever had someone you like tell you "I love You". Well, I think the word “love” in teenage relationships should be removed from the dictionary. If another teenager tells you, or if you tell another teenager you love them, then that leads to two words "Prove it"; and then that leads to one word "Sex". This is not rocket scientist philosophy, all you know exactly what I'm talking about.

The word love is so misused by teenagers. When some one tells someone you love them you should be thinking about the following: Is this someone I want to spend the rest of my life with? Can I commit myself wholly to this person in marriage? Will this person love and commit to my life? You see teenagers, Love is much more that a physical relationship.

Before you begin a relationship with anyone do this: make a list of ten things you like about the person. If you can't find ten things, then don't begin a relationship with that person.

Never tell anyone in Junior High or High School that you "Love them". The word love is a mature word for mature people who can make a life time commitment to each other. You can still like someone, be there friend, have fun with being together, and keep the relationship simple. Any relationship that involves love, sex, and commitment can be very complex and will hurt you when it ends. A complex relationship will leave you changed, physically, mentally, and emotionally -- you look different, act different, feel different. In a simple relationship you can walk away unchanged and still be friends.

Coach is not saying that teenagers should not have relationships with each other. I'm just saying there's a better way. Keep it simple and you won’t get hurt, so when friends fall apart they can still be friends. This is the way God intended for you to be and act.

I think real dating should not start until you are ready to start looking for a husband or a wife. Dating should have a purpose, not be an event. High School is not the time or the place to have life time commitments like marriage.

Remember to keep life simple and put your trust in Jesus Christ. Read Psalms 18:1, 2, 3; Romans 10:13.